excavation/emanation

I want to reach inside with both hands, fingers digging in like I am gutting a pumpkin. I want to excavate and unearth and pull that sloppy mess right out of my core and lay it out in its beautiful, complicated messiness and spread it out -- fragments and connections and fibers and seeds, and take a long beautiful look at it.

And then, from that deep place where the wisdom lies, I want to stir up compassion and gentleness, kindness, forgiveness and love, and let it generate, grow, well up and emanate so that it fills me, my hollow core, and let it become who I am -- for others and for myself, so I can walk through life and let it sing out from my cells and breathe out from my pores.

So I can release it while holding it within, so I can give it away and keep it for myself.

So it can become who I am, and I can let it go while cradling it safe within me.