full
>> Sunday, October 16, 2011
It's bedtime, and I'm singing peace like a river... love like an ocean... and they interrupt with cries of TSUNAMI! and they wave and crash their arms, jumping and flopping on their mattresses in the dark.
It's 7am, and one boy drags another through the livingroom by a rope around his ankle while the third pulls on the arms of the captive, tugging in the opposite direction. They all laugh and shriek and I have not yet had my coffee.
It's 5pm and the chaos devolves to mayhem. I shoo them outdoors and they rip stems off new pumpkins, wielding woody daggers in front-lawn battle.
I watch only intermittently from the window -- I can't hack it all, have to turn away and trust they'll be fine. It's like Baby Jackass up in here, mini-Johnny Knoxvilles running rampant, belly-down on skateboards zooming straight for the crash.
I'm fine, Mama. I got it. That was awesome.
My hands are full.
:::
A month ago I had lunch with a friend and her beautiful 4-month old baby. I held her son, ooohing and ahhhing and snuggling and kissing his fuzzy little head, and when our lunch came, she ate while I held him and I had this small but really huge moment when I realized that, as cute as he was, I would really rather be eating my sandwich.
I'm on the other side, and it feels good. It feels good to know full when I feel it.
...
linking up with heather.
28 comments:
Yeay!!!
I'm so happy that you feel content. What a blessing.
And Duuuude. Sammmmich.
Can you pass that wonderful feeling along to me. Love this post.
I have to say, this is probably one of the most profound yet beautifully simple posts on mothering I've read in a long time. And, it is SO encouraging to read. I always wondered if I'll just one day have THAT feeling, or if it's agonizing. I'm not there. But it's good to know that one will recognize that fullness, and it will be ok to feel *good* about it. Thank you for sharing. :)
This is so very beautiful.
And that last line? Oh my heart, yes that.
Liz, WONDERFUL! I couldn't agree more! YOu can't blink through any stages of watching your children grow, but so far, I do NOT want to go back. I wouldn't trade THIS time for anything...
"I realized that, as cute as he was, I would really rather be eating my sandwich."
That. Killed.
I get it.
Me, too.
What a great feeling to finally have, right? :)
i love this.
This is what I like to refer to as a deep breath moment and I love it! I am not there yet, I know I'm done but I'm not comfortable with it like you are. I look forward to wanting lunch more than another baby though!
I love that side. I have to laugh, because I was just telling a story of being handed someone's baby and I was like, um, I don't really want to hold your baby right now. Totally other side.
Steph
I can't help laughing, because I feel that way all the time...but here I am, having chosen to have a fourth baby anyway, despite the two rambunctious boys and the little girl with special needs and the budding writing career to keep me so busy I can't see straight.
But I do think I'm "full" after this one. I have room in my heart to love more...but I don't know that I have patience and time to match.
Ha! When you said it's like baby jackass up in here? Yeah, that's my life right now. Seriously.
I have two boys and recently wrote a long post about whether or not we will have a third. I'm not on the other side. I still can't decide.
Baby or Sandwich???
I am on the fence at the moment...teetering toward the sandwich.
My youngest (of 4) is 8 months old. I know we are done. We have to be done. And there are a lot of days that I just want to eat my sandwich, too. ...But then there are those days when all I want is another little baby kicking my ribs and bladder and kidneys...
awesome story!
i think knowing full when you feel it just might be the secret to a successful life in general. well played, sister.
I literally LOL'd on that last line. I need to keep reminding myself that I am on the other side, too. :)
I enjoyed reading this. Such a great concept to know you are full when you feel it. Of course!Something that can be applied to so many aspects of our lives. Thank you for sharing this :)
reading your post absolutely confirmed why I love connecting and sharing w other moms. I loved you describing your full feeling and with three, I am full as well...
laughed out loud about the sandwich. boys are full of energy. why do they always need to battle? I don't know. I'm just a mom.
I'm SO with you on that last part. We are "full" over here too and it feels wonderful...
Oh boys, they are just so full of life!! :)
It sounds like your living my life, just somewhere else. :)
We have three Y-chromosome-crazies too. And THEY are NOT like us, eh?
haven't been here in way too long. loved this post. going to read more.
but i wanted to tell how how CAH-UTE your new picture is!!! it's contagious! i am totally smiling a real smile right now.
xoxo
that feeling of full. it is so, so good. i feel that way too right now friend. and it's all the more lovely having known emptiness, no? xo
perfection.
in that way life can seem for a fleeting second.
and that can be enough.
xoxo
I must agree! To everything there is a season, and I too am ready for the next. Beautiful post :o)
tsunami.... oh elizabeth your writing leaves me breathless and leads me to God.... ((praying))
Pootled over here from anymommy. Yay for sandwiches and babies we pass back to their mamas. Lovely writing.
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