twenty years from now maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers and I can tell you 'bout today*
>> Thursday, July 21, 2011
I'm headed to my family reunion this weekend. Meaning, my children and my parents and my siblings and my cousins and their children and their parents. I will see "little cousins" who are grown men and I will be a grown woman to those cousins who saw me as their "little cousin" and my dad and his siblings will look at the crew and think, when did this all happen? weren't we just here on these beaches as kids ourselves?
And I'll swim in the same lake I swam in at 5 and 10 and 16 years old, and I'll watch my boys play with their cousins and my cousins' kids, and when we hear Mom and Dad it will be me and my sisters and cousins turning our heads because our Mom and Dad are now Grandma and Grandpa and before we know it these little people of ours will be the ones that are grown up and looking around wondering how that just happened.
A friend posted this video on facebook and I bawled my eyes out. I love Ben Folds, and I hadn't heard this song before. It just hit on something in me that I've been thinking about a lot lately - this wish for my boys - for me and all of us really - to be able to hold on to the very best parts of being a kid. That uninhibited urge to run and jump and spin and laugh, the wonder and the straight-up joy and delight in just about everything. Being small enough to be picked up and carried when you just can't keep at it on your own, and the uncomplicatedness of love. Oh, wouldn't that be good?
My mind has been sitting there in that place for a week now, after camping with my family and my parents and my sister and her boys last weekend, sitting around the fire with my 13 year old nephew, listening and talking honestly with each other, remembering what that felt like, thirteen, and being able to zap myself right back to that wonderful-horrid spot of not being a little kid and not even being close to a grown up. Oh, my heart.
Anyway, this song is so good, and I'd pull out my favorite lines from the lyrics for you, but just listen and tell me your favorites, instead.
*title from lyrics of Still Fighting It by Ben Folds