revisiting

I've been thinking a lot about my kids - how we click, how we clash. I struggle sometimes with one of my children, floundering because my instincts, which have served me so well thus far, seem too often to be staring at me apologetically with eyebrows raised and palms offered up.  So I've been talking with friends, reading up a bit in search of strategies and perspectives, and somehow I ended up following my mind's trail back to something I had written about a year ago.

So here it is again, a reminder to me and to you, about us and about these little people we have the privilege of raising up and guiding.



All Wrapped Up

Our wisdom is all mixed up with what we call our neurosis. Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion, and therefore it doesn't do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness.

- Pema Chodron, from Satisfaction in The Wisdom of No Escape

You're so sensitive.

You're too sensitive.

You obsess about things.

You over-analyze everything.

You have a 'strong' personality.

You're so opinionated.

You talk too much.

You're feisty.

I've heard them plenty. Sometimes said with love, other times not so much.

For most of my life I've seen these traits of mine as negative.

But Pema's right.

I can see it about myself because I see it in my friends (eta: and my kids). What makes us crazy is all tangled up with what makes us wonderful. What makes our friends and family love us. What makes us us.

So yes, I am or have all of those things on that list. But you know what else?

I'm empathic.

I'm creative.

I'm passionate.

I am warm.

I am nurturing.

I'm a thinker.

I'm an advocate.

I'm a storyteller.

and more.

And so are you. 

(And your kids. Tell me about it?)