markings
>> Tuesday, April 26, 2011
I've had bangs for the last two years, and lately I've been lazy about keeping them trimmed. They've gotten to a length where I can't really wear them down, even to the side, and so the other day I pinned them back in a barrette and when I leaned forward towards my reflection in the mirror, my jaw dropped when I realized that silently and stealthily during these last two bangs-covered years my forehead has developed wrinkles.
Had I known, I would have gone bangs-less a little longer to soak up my last days of forehead-smoothness.
I work at the university and so I am surrounded by students. I don't really feel much older than them, my years in undergrad - and certainly grad school - don't seem that long ago. But it struck me recently, this realization that when I am talking to a 19 or 20 year old boy that instead of relating to him as a peer I am relating to him as a mother. Instead of thinking, wow he's cute, I think, awww he's cute. Rather than flashing back to my husband at 19 or 20, I am flashing forward to my sons at 19 or 20. And when this struck me as odd, I realized that this particular age - these darling 20 year old boys I encounter - they mark exactly the halfway point between the ages of my son and my husband. Our in-between days; post-childhood, pre-children. It's really thrown me for a reality-checking loop as I realize that I am getting older.
This really isn't or shouldn't be news to anyone who operates within this plane of reality, but man-oh-man it was something that knocked me off balance for a few.
I'm getting my bangs trimmed tomorrow. But I'm leaving them long enough that I can still pin them back.
11 comments:
You looked great on Easter! And your pics, as usual are amazing. Your boys are just "squeezable!"
This makes me smile because this past fall I commented to my husband, "wow, those freshman walking around [we live in a college town] are closer to grace's ages than to ours!" I was genuinely surprised by this. And he laughed at me and said gently that this had been true for quite a while. Wow! I've got the wrinkles too ... sigh. xox
Look at your boys -- so precious, so handsome.
When I went back for my Master's, one night I realized I was sitting across the table from guys who were the age of my son. That was an eye-opener!
Good choice on those bangs, by the way. Keep your options open!
Ahhh yes, we are getting older... not old, just older. I wouldn't trade places though... we are wiser. And street-smarter. And funner. And prettier. I've missed you lady, and your boys are so big. What handsome little men.
we work with college kids at a summer camp--the same one my husband and i meet at ten years ago. it caught me off guard, too, to realize that those college kids are kids. someone's babies and no longer peers.
your boys are beautiful. fabulous photos!
Look at those handsome boys. I think they're worth getting older for, don't you?
It shocks me too, though. I still feel like I'm in my lower 20s and when I wake up in the morning sometimes I do a double-take at all that is around me, all that I'm responsible for, and all that I've become.
The boys, though, the boys may give me MORE wrinkles but at least they make it worth it.
xo
I see young men and do the same thing, flash forward to my own boys (the oldest is now 10!). So bitter sweet, I tell ya.
Stop it! Those gorgeous boys and their striped grown-up shirts, and hugging each other.... oh babe. I'm so thrilled!!
And wrinkles or no wrinkles, you're a gorgeous lady-mama, inside and out. It is a bit shocking to get a good look at oneself now and again, realising we feel the same way we always have on the inside, but that the outside is, um... different. It's kind of a betrayal! But tis the natural order of things.
Maybe it's time for another baby...? ;)
Oh your boys are beautiful. And so are you.
Steph
Oh, they are just a slice of life, beautiful boys.
I hear you, I hear you, I hear you... It's also uncomfortable when you realize that the young men you're talking to are absolutely, in no way whatsoever thinking you're "hot." Because you're a mom. And over 25.
It kinda cuts you right in the gut.
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