a reminder to myself on this, Nov. 3 2010
>> Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Reposting from about 7 months ago because oh how I need this reminder this morning, waking up in a Wisconsin that I'm disgusted with this morning and trying to remember that it's ideas and philosophies with which I'm [strongly] disagreeing -- as opposed to people who I am not liking. (But oh, it can be hard when emotions run high.)
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They were talking politics, and I heard him tell her, "I think it's good for parents to give their children something to believe. They can always change their minds later."
And I thought, what about teaching your kids how to think, not what to think?
I don't need my kids to grow up agreeing with me -- I want them growing up knowing how to think. To form their own ideas, to question pat answers, to want to know the why's behind thewhat's and how's.
This is what I want for my kids:
For them to learn that everyone has ideas. That we will like some people's ideas better than others. And that even if we don't like someone's ideas, that we can still like them, still respect them as a person.
For them to question good guys and bad guys. To accept that if we try hard enough, if we approach people with open minds and ears, that we can find common ground somewhere.
That we should listen, rather than wait to speak. That we must always be open to changing our minds when presented with new information. That there's no shame in recognizing we were wrong.
I don't want to give my kids something to believe. I want to support them in their process of discovering what they believe.
(And I want to follow my own advice.)
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Keep comments civil, people. I get caught up in political nastiness pretty easily, so I could use your help on moving forward here.
11 comments:
A resounding yes to teaching our kids (and reminding ourselves) that people are not their ideas. And that we can still respect or like someone even if we don't like his ideas.
For me, personally, I want to teach my kids that no matter what party someone is in, people are people. And no one is perfect. And we don't all think alike all of the time. And even of we vote for the candidate and he or she
wins, it doesn't guarentee that everything will be roses
because no one is perfect. I'm rarely 100 percent comfortable with any of the candidates.
I say this coming from a standpoint in strong faith that God is our ultimate leader, which I think helps me be at peace with whoever is elected, if that makes sense. I'm rarely
Nonetheless,
A wonderful reminder on this rainy Nov 3
I totally agree with you about the importance of being able to think critically about ideas, but learning to love and accept people. There's nothing I can tolerate less than intolerance! :) LOL
But there is a little part that makes me itchy. And I think it has to do with this: I think, while we're busy teaching tolerance, we also need to stress the importance of people having ideas and opinions of their own AT ALL, lest they become so tolerant they go along with just about anything (I've actually seen an article or two to this effect about Gen-Me kids). It's work to learn about stuff, to analyze different viewpoints and to come to our own conclusions, but it's critically important work. And I feel in our politics there's too much of people just listening to whomever is speaking the loudest, not necessarily the one making the most sense. IMHO anyway.
Yes, yes, yes! A wonderful post for all of us to reread today, despite our frustrations.
This is also a post that I should read before every visit with my parents, whose political views dramatically differ from mine. :)
listening instead of just waiting to speak is a real and true talent and gift that must be cultivated...never was in my family so i've had to force it on myself to various degrees of success
I love this. I want to print it out and tape it to my mirror.
Profound and just right.
(Lil's mom via Rachel's post)
Yes! This is exactly what I try to teach my children and my students.
So funny, I actually start the lesson with "I don't want to teach you what to think. I want to teach you how to think."
They get told what to think from 1000 angles. I figure they don't need one more person telling them what to believe. :) They need help sifting through all of it and figuring out what is important to them.
And I feel your pain. I am down right worried out here in AZ. I keep telling myself, "tomorrow will be a new day." Because its true. No matter what it's always true. :D
this is such an important perspective. listen, learn, respect, grow.
(and at least this week feels less gray then than one in november '04. i might have cried then. and i definitely threw up;)
You're so right -- we need to teach our children how to think, not what to think. And respect for others? Paramount, in my mind.
Personally, I'm ever so glad the mud-slinging is over for awhile. Time for a kinder, gentler civil discussion, I say!
I think you voiced it beautifully. I want my daughter to think for herself and to be excited and eager to do it.
Perfect. And a good reminder at an emotional time that I need to be the thinker & respectful listener & speaker that I want me kids to become.
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