keeping the habit

>> Tuesday, June 29, 2010

It's almost 10:00 on a Tuesday night. My day began and ended with stress. Not with typical raising a family stress, or with working a full-time job stress. Other stress. Stress that I am refraining from writing about here because hellooooo this is the internet. And I do have a filter.


So here I sit with a knot in my stomach, and I remember that it's Tuesday.

I will not end my night feeling like this. I am not inviting the dreams that come when I drift out with a restless heart and a whirling mind.

(Did I tell you about my dream the other night? I pulled out too fast in my subaru and got hit from the side by a truck. I slammed on the breaks but they didn't work and so I shut my eyes as I plowed in and through a bunch of tents camped out in the middle of the road. I didn't know if there were people in them. I didn't know if it was my fault.)

I will find the gifts in my day, my week, my life. I will do this before I go to bed.

1. A birthday lunch with a sister. We both work downtown, on opposite sides of the Capitol building, in fact. Even when we don't plan lunch, we bump into each other and make the man who runs the Indian cart laugh out loud at our delight.

2. A husband who is a perfect-for-me partner. He lowers my blood pressure with his calm and steady presence, and he still quickens my pulse after almost *10* years of matrimonial bliss.

3. Parents who are retiring TOMORROW after a life of hard work and long hours. My dad is a mechanic, and he and one of his brothers have been running the business that my grandfather started back in the 1930's. And the coolest thing is? Some of the customers have been coming since they were children. And before that? Their parents were customers. Can I tell you a secret? I want to write a book about the business -- about the confluence that it was for a community and a family. My dad had 5 siblings. Half of them worked at or owned the place. All of his siblings had hoards of kids. And my cousins and sisters and I all grew up at The Station -- pumping gas out of old fashioned pumps, hand-drying cars that came through the carwash, and changing oil on Saturdays and summertime. (Can you write a memoir of a place? I think I'm going to.) And my mom? In addition to teaching math and physics for decades, raising five daughters, and cooking a home-cooked meal seven nights a week, she also has been doing a lot of the bookwork for the business. And now she'll finally be done, too!

4. Resilient, flexible, adaptive little boys. I am working full time, after being home full time for 3 and a half years. My oldest son doesn't remember much about the last time I worked, and the other two weren't born yet. But these boys have sailed smoothly into this new phase of our life, and I am enjoying them so much. It's summertime, so we let them stay up late and I get to spend time with them after work. Tonight John was gone, and after I put the baby to bed I plopped down on the floor and played a dinosaur trivia board game with Owen and Eli. We laughed our butts off when Eli said a T-Rex was a peapod, instead of a theropod. Dino-humor. You can't beat it.

5. And speaking of humor, we have the funniest baby (he's 19 months today, and I'm still calling him BABY) on the planet. He tells jokes. Knock knock. Who's there? Banna. Banana who? Onge. (cue maniacal laughter.) And then? He says to his dad. Daddy nurse. 'Dat side. Udda side. and then laughs hysterically. He's a joker, that kid.

6. This picture:



It doesn't happen often, but it's so stinking cute when it does.

Ok, /end ramble.

I feel better now. Thanks for the gift of Tuesday eyes, Emily. It's a good habit to keep.

11 comments:

thordora June 29, 2010 at 10:32 PM  

That would be an incredible book.

suzannah @ so much shouting/laughter June 29, 2010 at 10:45 PM  

yes to finding the blessings, even in those difficult stretches. may you find more rest tonight:)

Jill GG (good life for less) June 30, 2010 at 7:30 AM  

Awww sweet boys... Noah has the same shirt that Owen is wearing! I'll think of him next time Noah wears it! Smooches!

ShannonL June 30, 2010 at 8:47 AM  

They are all amazing gifts. LOVE the pic of all three sleeping boys - too precious.

And I really love hearing about the memories of your family's business. It sounds so fun! I'd love to hear more ;-)

Justine June 30, 2010 at 1:11 PM  

I adore this post - to find the reasons for which to be thankful rather than dwell on that which frustrates us.

I love that you're able to get back to full-time work seamlessly, and that you're thinking about a memoir of the family business. I vote yes because a childhood like yours is rare these days and it would be wonderful for the rest of us to see just what it was like to be someone from a big family who's proud of her heritage and upbringing.

And oh, I just realized we have kids the same age. Well, I have one and she's the same age as your youngest. I am in love with this stage as she's starting to form words and become a little big person with each new discovery.

I hope the rest of the week goes well for you.

Misty June 30, 2010 at 1:56 PM  

oh a memoir of a place, other than a life, is the only kind to write! (i read the tender bar, which is sort of both, and it was lovely. the station sounds lovely, too.)
and i'm sorry for a rouch patch. this too shall pass? :)

Corinne June 30, 2010 at 3:52 PM  

They are so cute.
And I'm blown away how you've all managed the transition. I know it's not easy, but you are so inspirational in how you handle your days, your weeks, your moments.

Debi July 1, 2010 at 12:41 AM  

Found you at Tuesday's Unwrapped - I laughed out loud when I saw your picture. Sooo funny - been there! You have a nice blog - it's good to visit.

Kelly @ Love Well July 1, 2010 at 11:06 AM  

How have I not found you before?

Yes, yes and yes.

Count your blessings. It breaks my heart that I lose the important when I focus on the meaningless urgent.

Dawn July 1, 2010 at 2:24 PM  

with the reading of each numbered item, my smile grew brighter... and i can only imagine that as you wrote each, the stress lifted from your heart. tuesday eyes are good. necessary. and you gotta write that book... i bet you will :)

Meghan July 1, 2010 at 9:20 PM  

I loved this post, and I LOOOOOVEEE that picture of the boys. oh, sleepy bliss. beautiful.

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I'm a realistic optimist who relies on raw honesty and plenty of humor to navigate the boystorm that is my life. I am mother to three and wife to one. These are my stories.


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